guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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