I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
