wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
