I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
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