he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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