put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
