If i come over, it means nothing
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
