Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
