apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
