Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
