How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
