in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Randomize