I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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