my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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