Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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