can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
