some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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