On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
