Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
