Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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