just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Randomize
