My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
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