Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
