I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
