it was like his penis was on wheels.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
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