I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
