On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
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