it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
