O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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