Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
All im saying is that my face might fall off.