im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.