if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.