My friends, they love my intelligence
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Randomize