is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
FUCK WHALES
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