Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
