fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
