party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
