ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Randomize