i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
