We're facebook friends in real life
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Randomize
