I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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