Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
how do you play pong handcuffed?
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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