just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
