So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Randomize