He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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