did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Randomize
