Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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