Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
