i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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