That's when you crack a 10am beer
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Randomize
