oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Randomize
