Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
