did you get engaged???
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
the liver wants what the liver wants
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize