I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Someone shattered a urinal.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
