Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
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