My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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