I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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