the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
