Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
