Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize