she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
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