why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
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