i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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