mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Randomize
