No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Randomize
