Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
