So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
